Three times in the last week... I've eaten an apple! That's not right. There's no ingredients list - there could be anything in there. I'm eating grapes unbidden. I'm dangerously close to 5 a day! Though I'm still closer to 1 a day.
And the weight is just vanishing. I've lost nearly half a stone since last Monday. I was an entirely normal 17st 5lb (well, normal if I was 6' 11"), but now I'm a shade over 16st 12lb.
My clothes are hanging off me. I'm putting new holes in my belt to stop my trousers falling down. Where I once walked across cattle grids with impunity, now I take the long way round. One wrong step and I'd be stuck down there. Fortunately my daily commute from surburban North London to Victoria doesn't involve many cattle grids.
I have to run around in the shower to get wet.
But it's difficult!
Obviously my wife is the thing I most desire in this world, but after that, the top three would probably be:
1) Fern Britton. Total babe, curves like an Italian mountain pass and a filthy laugh.
2) Cherie Lunghi in that white dress she wore on 'Strictly Come Dancing' last year.
3) Depending on the weather, either a fully restored MGB GT, or a Caterham.
But they've all been shifted down a place. I had lustful dreams last night...
...of a plain chocolate McVities Digestive!
On a more serious note, I'm staggered to say that earlier today we passed the £750 mark, which is quite incredible.
Earlier in the year I tried giving up fizzy drinks for a month. Not sweets, not chocolate, just fizzy drinks.
I lasted a grand total of four days before I caved in.
24 days to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment