Patently Unfair

OK this patently isn’t fair. Yesterday was a day off work in order to take Tcho Tcho #1 to the Natural History Museum where he could look at dinosaurs to his hearts content. Needless to say the lack of chocolate and caffeine has been affecting my thinking else I wouldn’t have been quite so stupid as to take him on the first day of autumn half term.

There were queues, not your common or garden queues either, but brain numbingly long queues of almost Alton Towers like proportions. After the queuing there was the walking and lots of it, there was also the running; whenever Tcho Tcho #1 caught site of some exciting exhibit in the distance and dashed off to disappear into the crowd, giving dad another opportunity to practice his sprint starts and vocal projection. [1]

Actually, Tcho Tcho #1 was incredibly well behaved, but whereas I have the experience of age, he has the energy of youth and literally didn’t stop all day. Now my normal answer to long term exposure to children is to neck a sometimes, as I’ve mentioned before more than one. Highly caffeinated I’m quite capable of keeping up. Yesterday resorting to an energy drink was obviously out of the question.[2]

In the normal scheme of things then I’d be on top form come the end of the day, although vibrating at a high frequency and with an irregular heart murmur. Yesterday though, I felt Tcho Tcho #1 might actually have me beat. In a desperate last ditch effort to slow him down I took him to a pizza restaurant and loaded him with carbohydrates, while studiously keeping it light and sticking to the proteins myself. Result, almost instant carb induced stupor, well until he got home that is at which time he bounced right back into action in order to recount the days events to mum and Tcho Tcho #2 [3]

Anyway, the day with Tcho Tcho #1 made me think about a couple of things. Firstly, if nothing else I need to drop more weight in order to keep up with these two, I can still beat them over the long and intermediate distances but their acceleration off the starting block and over the short distances is extremely worrying and will only get worse.

Second, I will not be giving up caffeine drinks after this little exercise, they’re just to damn useful when faced with children who act as though they are naturally caffeinated.

Oh and why “Patently Unfair” well after an active day on my feet I had expected to have knocked at least some weight off but apparently I’ve put a pound back on!

Anyway £922.79 raised so far

[1] Naturally as a six year old boy Tcho Tcho #1’s idea of an exciting exhibit almost always involved death, bloodshed, big teeth and claws in some shape or form.

[2] weirdly the sense of guilt I have thinking about these things is always worse when there is no chance anyone would ever find out.

[3] Tcho Tcho #2 had spent the day decorating the house for Halloween - incidentally the Tcho Tcho’s birthday - which if nothing else argues higher powers are having a laugh at my expense.