72 hours in and my metabolism hates me...

15th Oct 2009

Well we're still on the wagon. At least I think we are. Giles was working at home today. All alone with nothing but the siren call of the biscuit barrel. Those choc chip cookies have lured many a poor dieter to their doom, dashed on the jagged rocks of the evil calorie...

I'm sure he was fine.

I weighed myself on Monday, just out of interest. I was a clinically obese 17st 5lb. I weighed myself again last night: 17st 1lb.

How did that happen?

Ok, I understand the whole dehydration thing, but it's not like I haven't been drinking water (there's a gap in the market there - water that actually tastes of something), so where did the 4lb go? The last time I lost 4lb that fast, I'd just had a haircut.

You could lose 4lb if your leg fell off, or if you were suffering from some tropical disease.

But just by not eating rubbish?

/considers writing diet book

Step 1 - Stop eating rubbish.

The End

But God do I miss chocolate...

Just after lunch is the worst. Eat a sandwich, watch an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, then back to my desk via the chocolate machine for a Twirl or a Caramel.

Well that's what used to happen.

But for the last couple of days my metabolism has been scratching its head. Metaphorically speaking.

Tuesday: Oh. He's forgotten to get some choc. It's only a matter of time.

Wednesday: Hang on. What's going on? Have I done something wrong?

Thursday: Right. I'm not standing for this anymore...

/cue massive headache for most of Thursday afternoon.

One of the girls I used to work with would periodically read magazines explaining the latest detox fad. Usually it would be something like 'You can only eat raw potatoes and HP sauce for a week'. What you could have varied from detox to detox, but the results were always the same.

"After a day or two, you're going to feel like absolute cr*p. And that's a good thing."

Apparently, purging only works if you suffer.

What I'm more worried about though, is that several people have said, "Chances are that when you've finished this, you won't feel like eating chocolate or drinking Pepsi again."

What?

I don't want to not want chocolate!

/checks validity of double negative

/frets