Unnecessary Cruelty

I'm doing well I think, unlike Dave I’m suffering no major withdrawal symptoms. Nor have I had to face any major temptations, although frankly I haven’t really had any, apart from walking past the kids treat drawer.

Normally, the weekly shop is a family affair, all four of us trotting off to the supermarket to stock up for the week ahead; this week however "my beloved" asked if I could do it without her as she had brought some work home with her. Naturally, modern man that I am, I agreed and headed off alone[1].

Amazingly, the shop didn't take half as long as I feared, mainly I suspect because I wasn't wrangling the Tcho Tchos [2], nor was looking to buy anything but the necessities. In fact the only problem came at the checkout when I realised my subconscious mind had been working overtime and had been dropping "contraband" into the trolley. Apart from the coke, which the wife drinks in quantities to rival Dave’s consumption of Pepsi. I left behind a small pile, nay mound of chocolate, pastries and related sundries having decided to follow the spirit rather than the letter.

This then is where the unnecessary cruelty of the title comes in, because when I arrived home I was fairly well mobbed by those inside looking for a sugar fix. All in the Hill household had assumed I'd stock up on the treats, so hadn't asked for anything specific. Apparently, its fine for me to not eat chocolate, pastries and fizz as long as I don't inflict unnecessary cruelty on the rest of the household.

As a result I am not going to be allowed on the next weekly shop. All in all then things are looking up.


[1] Note I said alone, apparently the little Tcho Tchos don't want to shop without Mum. I think this is because they don't reckon Dad is as soft a touch, but as Lisa points out it may also be due to the fact I make them do all the work.

[2] Tcho-Tcho are first mentioned in August Derleth's 1933 short story "The Thing That Walked on the Wind", they are referred to as a degenerate and cannibalistic race that worship strange gods. Somehow this seemed a strangely fitting description of my kids.